Rolling out the red carpet for Robin Moran

Who would ever have known that one of the most popular people on earth must be Robin Moran. Robin was one of the beautiful people chronicled in the show “Super Obese” that first aired in May of 2005. Here at Terminal our most popular post has to be Andover Village: A Story of Severe Morbid Obesity and Beautiful People.

When I first watched that show I was heartfelt by the courage and motivation of the casts. Not an ordinary cast for each of the people portrayed was an actual patient, staff member or professional at Andover Village. Robin was a real headliner for not only did she fight obesity but she fought additional disabilities and did so with a smile. She as did the others fought against challenges more difficult than most of us will ever face. I as do millions of others admirer Robin and the other patients.

Following the post on Andover Village we were so blessed when Robin posted a response that stated in part, “I have read thousands of postings, many so negative that I wondered if sharing so much was right or not. Your posting has reassured me that by revealing such intimate details has and will continue to help so many people that suffer from obesity or are close to someone who does.” I cherish that response from Robin for I know that while Terminal Obesity is a small blog we have hundreds of people each month that read it and people like Robin give them the courage to continue in their own struggle be it obesity or another life challenge.

Robin is a busy star that we all would love to hear from her again. Speaking for Millions of people I want to say, “We love you Robin Moran.”

Following gastric bypass surgery it is quite common for people to experience a lot of gas and farting. Luckily that has not happened to me – knock on wood. Now from what I am told this is not just ordinary gas and it can have a pretty strong stench. Oh lord, my dogs farts smell bad enough so hope it doesn’t happen. For all of you including those that have never had weight loss surgery read this warning about farting.

Please pass this on to the people you care about, relatives and friends just in case…………It is important they be aware of this danger .

Never

Never

Never

Never

Ever……fart in a wet suit!

I ran across this Coke and had to share it with you. Want a super sized Coke that won’t hurt you one bit? Even if you had bariatric surgery and your doctor told you to lay off the soda this coke is ok for you. Even if you are on a very strict diet with no caffeine and no soda of any kind this coke is perfect. This coke is part of the sidewalk art that the famous English artist Julian Beever is known for, especially in England, France, Germany, USA, Australia and Belgium. If you would like to see more of this art you can see it for the next week as the featured video at Terminal Obesity. Check it out.

If the average man lost 6” what do you think he would do? Do you think he would lock himself up in his room or throw himself off a cliff? Would it be so traumatic that he would be unable to face the world? Absolutely not, if the average man lost 6” he would actually benefit from it. Think about it, more room in your pants and less to carry around has to make it easier for a guy to walk; he will be less exhausted and might even become the talk of the town.

Women should also be pleased for they no longer need to put up with those extra inches. Smart women realize that a smaller size is better. So men, prove that smaller is better and loose that 6” off the waist. When we get back into shape we are better able to show our woman how size really does matter and smaller is often better.

A Husbands Vow

By Terry Lile Weinheimer

Lynda and I met in an accounting class in college. She was 18 and I had just turned 20. She was the first girl that I was to truly fall in love with. While we did not know it at the time, our love story would span 4 decades or forty plus years starting with our first date. Three days after our 38th wedding anniversary she was to be taken to be with God at the age of 59. Perhaps A Husbands Vow gives you more of an insight into the life of two kids that were to become what Lynda referred to as Sole Mates.

As far back as I can remember I had goals and aspirations. When I was 18 years of age and a freshman in college my financial goal was to be making $50,000 per year by my 30^th birthday. Today, $50,000 a year may not seem like much but in 1960 the United States average income was $2,222 as compared to a median household income of $43,318 per year in 2002. Source: US Census Bureau.

In the years that followed our marriage we experienced many personal and financial struggles. We had periods of financial success followed by periods of financial failure. Regardless something inside of me prevented me from ever quitting and I truly was a workaholic. Regardless though I loved her and my family deeply and would have taken a bullet for any of them. My family has been my life and possibly misguided I always wanted to reach for a little more for all of us. To me, failure has always been the first step in success and not the last step.

A major aspiration was to someday have a family of my own. I knew at the age of 18 that I would want a wife and children to share my future success with.

On April 18, 1964 at the age of 22, I was married In the United Methodist Church to my long time sweetheart Lynda Lee Ernst. During our ceremony I made a solemn vow to Lynda. This vow stated in part: I, Terry Lile Weinheimer, take thee Lynda Lee Ernst, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith.

A vow before God is powerful and sacred. Unfortunately, many people have taken and continue to take this vow without giving any thought to what they are pledging. Many people run from a marriage because of petty quarrels, money or health problems. Others run from a marriage because the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence and they think they found a new person that will make the perfect spouse. Both Lynda and I were off-and-on church attendees but we still believed in the sacred power and that this pledge was solemn.

To have and to hold from this day forward: I took Lynda as my bride to love and to cherish. I knew at the time of our marriage just as I know today that we were taking each other with both our qualities and our faults. In this marriage a separation would come only through death or under the gravest circumstances such as abuse or unfaithfulness. I have never abused Lynda or the children nor have I strayed during our 38 years of marriage and neither has Lynda.

For better for worse: During our 38 years of marriage we went through a lot of better or worse. Not all times were happy. We had our squabbles and at times would need to forgive each other.

From the first day we had met, we were different in a number of ways yet I did not fully understand this before our marriage. While I later started to recognize and understand our differences, this was not a reason for dissolving a marriage. At times I would be so upset that I would have liked to get a separation and she probably felt the same but we never spoke of it for we knew that the feeling would pass.

In college, I was active in student and community activities and enjoyed being around lots of people. Lynda would go to parties and dinners with me and I really felt that she enjoyed them. While we knew a lot about each other Lynda never told me of her fear and dislike of participating in-group activities and perhaps I should have recognized this on my own, due to her severe hearing loss. Perhaps she did tell me and it was my own selective hearing that did not comprehend it.

In addition to my schoolwork, which often had the lowest priority, by my second year of college I had started and was managing a floor covering, drapery and upholstering retail business in association with my fathers carpet workroom and cleaning company. By my third year of college I had dropped out to run this business full time. It was not until the age of 50 that I would complete my college education and this was to meet a personal goal.

At the time we met, I was considering politics as a possible future career. Since my first year in college I had been active in elections of candidates for state and federal office. I had a lot of political and civic functions to attend. This continued into the first year of our marriage. Lynda finally confided that this type of life was not for her and hinted it would be politics or her. I loved her more than I loved politics and reduced my involvement in political activities. Would she have broken this solemn vow and left me. I do not believe she would have for while I did not make a career in politics, I continued for many years to be active in civic activities.

The first few years of our marriage were good years. Lynda and I both appeared to be in good health. We were planning for our family and within a few years became the parents of two lovely children Kevin and Cynthia. I had met my aspiration of having a family. I loved being a father but I had not given up on my financial goal and worked very hard towards it. Lynda was not working outside the home, she was right where she wanted to be, a wife and mother.

For richer, for poorer: Lynda enjoyed being around family members but she had little interest in friends outside of the family. This made it uncomfortable for me to build close friendships. I still needed to be around people and felt most comfortable being around successful individuals. It was successful people that would teach me and help me to reach my financial goals. I was able to be around successful people through my civic activities. While these activities put a strain on the marriage, Lynda was tolerant.

Both of us grew up around and always liked nice material items. Material assets require money and for me the only way I knew how to get there was through time consuming work. No matter how hard I worked it did not seem to provide enough income. We were always living at a higher level then what our income provided for. We would shop wisely, making many purchases at garage sales or thrift stores but this was only enabling us to get some things earlier than we otherwise would. When we bought something it was usually of good quality so that it would last through the years. We tried to be wise but a dollar will only go so far.

For richer or for poorer occurred all too often over the years. I was very good at building profitable businesses and than over expanding them to the point to where they were no longer profitable. It seemed like we would just start to become a financial success and suddenly we were almost broke again. I was never afraid to pick up and start over and we never remained poor for very long but never became rich.

The failures were much harder on Lynda. For me they were a temporary setback and a place to start a new adventure from. We would go back to square one and I would pick up the pieces and start all over. Almost every house we ever purchased was at a time when I was between businesses. This was usually because we would need to sell the house to pay off debts, have a down payment for the next house, and seed money for the next business.

Growing up I often heard people say things like “I could have bought that and if I had we would be rich.” I was not going to let opportunity slip through my fingers and during our first year of marriage we made a 25% investment in an 87-acre parcel of raw land in Orange County, California. My father took a 50% share and a friend of his the other 25%. At the time, all of us saw this as a wise investment. Over the years we increased our share of the investment through inheritance and buying out the family friend. Today that land is near housing developments and freeways and in reality should be worth a few million dollars but it is practically worthless as the environmentalist and the government has successfully restricted its development. The government is using our land and thousands of acres of other property owner’s land as open space. They have not paid us for this use and we still get the honor of paying our property tax each year.

As the years went by, Lynda would see me putting money into a business and think that I was taking it away from her and the family. It was difficult for her to understand that you just can’t take money out of a business; money must also be invested into it.

In my quest for wealth, I had both failures and successes. I made some bad investments both on my own and where there were partners but the IRS came after me because I had the deepest pockets. For several years it seemed like every time we would make some money we would loose it to the Internal Revenue Service.

For sickness and in health: Lynda and I had been dating for about 3 years at the time of our wedding. I knew of her hearing loss and was engaged to her when she was institutionalized at UCLA. Regardless of what either of us had been through we were in love and would be married. Over the years Lynda started to develop more and more health problems. Several times during these years she was hospitalized.

As the years went on the marriage endured regardless of the health and financial difficulties we might experience. Lynda was tolerant with my need to work and I tried to understand her physical and psychological problems. Lynda continued to become more of a private person, which was very difficult for me. I loved her and loved my children and as hard as it was at times, I continued to stick it out.

During the last 12 years of our marriage I build a respected consulting company. We had a good income and things were finally going smoothly until about 1999 when Lynda had her first stroke. At that time I made her my first priority. During the next 3 years she has had several strokes, a heart attack, lithium toxicity, serious complications with diabetes, anemia, serious urinary track infections and several other medical problems.

There have been many times when she was in the hospital or a nursing home where we did not know if she would live or die. I had many days and nights when I was alone, that I would be praying to God “please heal Lynda or take her upstairs to be with you.”

During her many close calls with death and miraculous recoveries I remained by her side as much as I could. This of course restricted income while at the same time our expenses greatly increased. As a consultant your income is limited to your personal services. I loved Lynda and she loved me and therefore to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith.

Dedicated to my loving wife Lynda Lee Ernst Weinheimer

December 28, 1942 – April 21, 2002

Well thanks Big Brother….and even when you are a shadow of your present self you will always remain my Big Brother!

I could never be critical of those I love and respect so deeply. I am just thrilled that you made the decision to do this and I so look forward to watch as the Terry buried underneath is allowed to finally be set free!

I see those of us who have struggled with our weight much in the same way as Michael Angelo looked at a piece of marble before he began to chip away at it. He felt that the art was not created by him, but that the art was already there within the marble and his job was to release it from the marble. I feel that we are the same way. Beautiful pieces of art that for whatever reason we’ve mentally imprisoned ourselves within our own bodies. For some, they are able to find the release through sensible eating and exercise, and for others it is through WLS. Whatever is right for each of us, I applaud and encourage to keep chipping away until that beautiful work of art is released.

I too have wondered many times why children; like us, of parents who throughout most of their lives were within a normal weight range, have children who became overweight. It wasn’t like we all sat in front of the TV all day long; like so many of today’s youth, because you and I know that would never have flown. Nor were we allowed to gorge ourselves on whatever we wanted whenever we wanted. I remember one of mom’s favorite phrases when I would ask if I could fix something to eat. She would say, “Get a glass of water.” When my response became to the negative she would always come back with, “Then I guess you really aren’t that hungry!” I look back now on her philosophy and she was absolutely correct! Chances are if I would have had that glass of water the “hunger pain” I believed I was feeling would have left. And chances are my problem was probably more from boredom than actual hunger. And chances are if I would have had that glass of water and returned 20-30 min. later she probably would have said, “Get some fruit.” That is if supper wasn’t about to be ready. It still is a wonder to me though!

As far as writing personal stuff goes…it bothers me not! My life is a pretty open book, and if what we have to share regarding this helps anyone else…I am all for it.

I too would love to hear if there are others out there who have benefited from online or physically attending support groups, and how it helps.

Today has become one day closer to your goal…keep it up Big Brother!!! I love you!
Melinda

This morning I got on the scales and they were down 5 pounds. It is either amazing what a day of yard work will do for you or the scales took a nose dive. As far as yardwok I even hate to call it that. when I step out my back door it is as if I have stepped into a secluded wilderness area. Beautiful Lost Creek runs directly below my deck. This time of year things are absolutely beautiful due to the Oregon rain and the sunshine we have recently experienced. To be fair, I have touched up the plants a bit in the foreground as the sun washed out quite a bit of this area in my photograph. That said I find the area even more beautiful than the picture. Yes, I am blessed in many ways.

Tomorrow morning I have my pre-op meeting with the surgeon and others that will be performing my gastric bypass surgery. Man I am sure glad that it will be laparoscopic gastric bypass surgery for I don’t want the deer and trout to see a big scar when I get up the nerve to take off my shirt. Never know, it might even be a woman and I’m a pretty shy guy.

I am really getting kind of excited and looking forward to the surgery. I would love to have it filmed so that I could look at it later on and share the video with all of you. I will ask the surgical team about it tomorrow and if they agree I will see what can be done.

I look forward to hearing from many of you. If you have had weight loss surgery, thinking about it or just want to talk please make a post.